Master of evil The Devil today revealed that he is indeed responsible for the ongoing saga of the Marsh brothers in the Aussie test lineup, revelling in the torture inflicted upon Aussie cricket fans in recent years.
While the Aussie public has long speculated that there was something sinister behind their constant backing from the selectors, the Prince of Darkness confirmed his involvement in the fiasco once and for all.
‘The Marsh brothers in the Australian test team is all part of my master plan to bring your nation to its knees,’ he told us in an exclusive interview.
‘I granted them test careers in exchange for the souls of Australian cricket fans, and I’ve got to say it’s worked out better than I ever could have imagined.’
While he has largely stayed out of cricketing affairs since convincing fromer South African captain Hansie Cronje to partake in match-fixing, the opportunity to torment cricket-loving Aussies proved irresistible to the demonic overlord.
‘The trick is to let them make decent scores every time the public calls for them to get dropped – the emotional whiplash from Aussie cricket fans calling for their blood one minute to singing their praises their next, back and forth over and over is truly delightful,’ he said.
‘And the best part is that every time they put together a little bit of form you fools start believing that it’ll be different this time – that they’ll finally become the superstars they were destined to be,’ he said with a sinister chuckle.
The Devil’s grand design has been seen in all its unholy glory in the current test series against Pakistan, with the pair so far having scored just 35 runs between them through six innings.
However, he revealed that his plans have required some tremendous personal sacrifice.
‘As an England fan, it was hard for me to allow them to dominate the Ashes last summer, but everything that’s happened since has made it all worthwhile.’