Prime Minister Scott Morrison is being hailed as the saviour of Australian cricket today after his genius selections paved the way for our first victory over serious opposition since the sandpaper saga.
The embattled PM had spent many sleepless nights deliberating the makeup of his squad for the Prime Minister’s XI to take on South Africa in a tune-up for the upcoming one-day series, and it paid off in spades as his ragtag bunch of misfits creamed the Proteas with 14 overs to spare.
In a turbulent week for Australian cricket, Sco Mo finally displayed the kind of leadership we expect from our Prime Ministers, delivering a hurting nation its first glimmer of hope since last summer’s Ashes campaign.
The victory was especially remarkable for the fact that it was achieved without any test stars or other big names, with George Bailey the only player with significant international experience.
The win is already being hailed as a greater underdog story than the likes of Bradbury, Fatty’s Maroons and the 2016 Western Bulldogs, and the shrewd tactical nous displayed by the PM has led to calls for him to make a full-time switch to the selection committee.
‘You know what, I had my doubts but it looks like the bloke’s a bloody genius – at least when it comes to cricket, anyway,’ said a fan at Manuka Oval.
‘I mean, Philippe, Behrendorff, Sangha, Qadir… absolute gems, the lot of them.’
As an outspoken critic of Cricket Australia on the back of the Longstaff Report findings earlier in the week, the Prime Minister did not shy away from taking the credit for the stunning victory.
‘When I said that we need to restore trust in our national game, it wasn’t just a soundbite. I’ve taken it upon myself to show those blokes how it’s done, now they just need to follow my lead and not stuff it up like they usually do.’