Cowboys Get Creative in Last-Ditch Holmes Bid

The North Queensland Cowboys are refusing to abandon their longtime pursuit of Valentine Holmes, even in the wake of last week’s announcement that he is leaving the NRL to muck around with gridiron for a while.

With most experts agreeing that Holmes has little chance of making a serious impact in the NFL, the Cowboys are keen to snag him before the move derails his rugby league career like it did with Jarryd Hayne by temporarily relocating to the Melbourne suburb of Dallas.

The move would allow them to take up the name ‘Dallas Cowboys’, which may be enough to land the signature of the ex-Cronulla flyer.

‘Look, we all know his chances of succeeding in the NFL are about as remote as the Simpson Desert, so if we do this he can at least say he played for the Dallas Cowboys without embarrassing himself,’ said a Cowboys spokesperson.

‘I think we can get away with playing a trial or two down there to keep up appearances then quickly change it back before the season begins – Valentine gets to be a Dallas Cowboy, we get a gun outside back and maybe pick up a couple of fans down there – everybody wins,’

While the Cowboys are hopeful the ploy will be enough to secure the Kangaroos winger, the latest reports indicate that Holmes is still under the impression that he can make the switch despite hundreds of American college footballers having a huge head-start on him.

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