Seismic Activity in Hunter Valley Linked to Seven Cricket Coverage

The new dawn of Australia’s test cricket coverage on Channel Seven has been blamed for a series of small tremors in northern New South Wales in recent days.

Residents of the Hunter Valley region have reportedly been experiencing the tremors since around 11 am last Thursday, precisely the same time as the First Test against India commenced.

The reports were initially of huge concern to local geologists, as the region has experienced major earthquake activity before, however after extensive investigations they were relieved to discover that the cause of the tremors was just Kerry Packer rolling in his grave.

The former Channel Nine kingpin is interred at his family’s Ellerston cattle station, and had always considered the cricket coverage to be the crown jewel in his media empire.

‘The idea of an Aussie home test on his biggest rivals’ channel would’ve made old Kerry sick, so I can’t say I’m too surprised he’s been stirred up a bit over the past few days,’ said Dr Janet Kennedy from the New South Wales Institute of Seismology.

‘Generally, a guy rolling in his grave won’t register anything on the Richter Scale, but our testing shows that his rotations became so intense during periods when former Channel Nine commentator Michael Slater was in the box that it showed up as seismic activity.’

Meanwhile, in other paranormal cricketing news, fears of a ghost roaming the stands at Adelaide Oval over the last couple of days have been put to rest after it was revealed that it was just former Nine commentator Ian Chappell looking for something to do.

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